Letter - 9/8/14

Dear Family and Friends,
Well I can't believe how the time has flown! This week I hit 9 months as a missionary which means I am half way done! WHAT? Is this real life I still have so much to learn from my Father in Heaven and apply to my life to become not only the missionary He needs me to be but also the person. This week Sister Hunter and I had a full schedule but when the appointments came after diligent preparation everything fell through. I don't know why but every single lesson we planned to have was cancelled. It was so sad because we just want to teach the gospel so badly but I learned that everyone has their agency and things don't always go as planned so that is when we have to trust in God and His timing.

This week we had a special conference from Elder and Sister Aoyagi who are a part of the area presidency and from Japan. They gave all of their training in English so that we could understand. I could really feel their love as they spoke in their second language, putting their faith in God, and doing the best they could. It made me really think about my efforts in Korean and how I need to improve to really put my faith in God and let Him put the words He wants me to speak to these people in my mouth. The training was so good and I was able to see so many of the friends I have made and influenced me and my missionary work. Elder Aoyagi trained us on the Joy of Missionary Work and the pattern of missionary work in the Book Of Mormon. Some of my greatest joys in missionary work is when I can help someone take their first step of faith, been guided by the spirit or even just felt the spirit, seeing the Korean people smiling, and just loving those around me. Elder Aoyagi said that the greatest joy a missionary can experience is the guidance from the Holy Ghost. I then thought of the times that I have been guided by the Holy Ghost or when I have felt the Holy Ghost and IT'S TRUE! When I have the Holy Ghost as my constant companion and I am worthy of His consistent presence that is when I am happiest because I then know that God is guiding my work. But I know that my joy first starts and comes with obedience to the Lord's counsel because as we are obedient that is when His promise applies and we can always have the Spirit to be with us. The Book Of Mormon missionary pattern is all the same. Trials and no success at first but after developing the Christlike attributes of faith, diligence, patience, love, obedience, humility, and hope they would rely on the Lord and be made tools in His Hands bringing about much success. I know that as we strive to develop the attirbutes of Christ we are qualified for the work. Because of my desire to serve I was called but it is only through Christ like attributes and applying them that I am qualified for this outstanding work. I love this gospel I love being a missionary. It is all I could ask for and I am grateful that the desire was planted in my heart to serve so that I could be here today.

Sister Aoyagi then trained and I cannot tell you how cute she was! Her sweet angel like voice just warmed my heart. How brave she was to stand up in front of all of us and speak in english. She told us a little parable about a person trying to push this boulder because the Lord asked him to so he did. He pushed and pushed and pushed but it wouldn't move so he was frustrated and asked "Why am I pushing this boulder if I can't move it?" The Lord then replied and said, "It's not your job to move the boulder. It's mine. All I asked you to do was push." All we are asked to do is push and put our faith on the line. Everyday we can push a little harder and give just one more push to show our love to our Father in Heaven. I know that as I apply this principle in my life I will not regret anything and know I gave my all to the Lord. 

 As I have reflected on the last 9 months of my mission I have learned a lot of important lessons and they have changed not only my outlook on life but changed me as a person.

 First and foremost I learned that attitude is everything. The commitment I made to myself to always be happy and positive has made the difference since day 1 of this missionary experience. Because of this commitment I have truly just become a happy person that can always look at the bright side of things even when everything could possibly go wrong. I can't say everyday was easy or that I haven't had challenges because I have and missionary work isn't easy but as I continually remember my commitment to myself I look for the good and put the smile back on my face. Everyday truly is a happy day when you decide for yourself that you want it to be. I know that this little lesson and application of smiling and being positive has changed my experience and changed me to be the person I am meant to be.

Second, I learned that Heavenly Father is aware of me and my personal concerns. Everyday, actually multiple times a day, I pray for strength, comfort, peace, courage, anything I need to get through a day and without fail He gives it to me either through a feeling, through another person or through some type of beautiful creation He has given us. I can't mention how many times that I have just looked up at the sky at night after a hard day and longed to see a star and there I find one. I know it is a small and simple thing but it is just a reassurance for me that Heavenly Father knows what I need to see to make me end each day with a smile on my face. Or when He allows me to have a valuable conversation with someone on the street after I had been rejected 5 plus times. He is always there and He has not let me down. This Daddy-Daughter Time I have had with Him is by far the most valuable time in my life and I know it is preparing me for eternity. I love my Heavenly Father so much and look to Him for strength daily because He is where my true strength lies.

Third, I have learned to not only love others but to love myself. At the beginning of my mission I was extremely caught up in being this perfect missionary and I soon found out that I couldn't because a perfect missionary doesn't exist. That was my trial. I was afraid of letting Heavenly Father down with the efforts that I gave so I set higher expectations for myself then what even He has for me.  I was so caught up in being perfect that I was blinded and couldn't enjoy or appreciate the little moments of each day. But as I stressed, failed, and worked harder than ever before and days, weeks, even months went on I wasn't that perfect missionary and I finally figured out that all Heavenly Father expects of me is to do my best. Once I figured that out my mission became happier, less stressful, peaceful and I became content with the person I was becoming because I knew God was accepting my efforts. I know that as I work each day diligently with a smile on my face even if all the appointments fall through or if I speak Korean and no one understands me Heavenly Father is smiling down on me because He sees me struggling, working hard, growing and trusting in Him. That is what it all comes down to having faith and trusting that Heavenly Father is really there for you to fall on and He is I can promise you that. He has never let me down and He never will.

I want to thank each of you for the support you have given me the last 9 months. It has been tremendous as letters, emails, and prayers come my way. You all have played a huge role in the growing experience I am having. I love this work with all my heart and even in the hard times I would not trade it for anything. I love Korea and the Korean people. They are so special and dear to my heart. I know the Heavenly Father has a special plan for this land and that He loves His children here. I know that this gospel is the straight path to happiness. I love my Heavenly Father and my Savior Jesus Christ. They are my strength and I know that through them I can do all things. Thank you for everything! I love you all especially my family who weekly I can count on for support, encouragement and counsel! I miss you but I know this is my time to draw closer to God than ever before and bring His children back to them one step of faith at a time and that is what I am doing! Have a wonderful week! I love you! Keep smiling and always take time to thank Heavenly Father for the simple blessing of each day!

Love,
드리스콜자매
Sister Ciarra Jean Driscoll